A letter from the heart

Base: Cafe Coming Out Forum
Date: Sat, 06 Jan 1996 23:06:27 GMT
From: Unknown (RichD)

A few months ago (three to be exact), I got an Internet connection. Not an astounding occurence, you might think, but it is something that has heavily influenced my life since then. And one of the first things I did was to go looking for gay web pages. This also is probably not terribly astounding.

However, until that point, I had tried my hardest to be straight. I'd dated girls, made all the right comments with the guys in the bar, etc. You know the sort of thing. And yet I've known since I was a teenager that I am attracted to men. The Net was a gift from the gods.

After a while, the novelty of surfing for new galleries wore off, and I started to read some of the text. And here my story begins.

I started to read people's bio's, their own coming out stories, and their tales of everyday life being gay. This was a revelation. I was not alone. Here were others who dared to do what I had buried away for so many years.

And they were happy. They had boyfriends, clubs to go to, friends who knew they were gay but still cared about them, even stable relationships, and true homes. I stared at the screen in shock. How could this be?

After a few days, I opened an E-mail coversation with the owner of one these astounding sites. We talked for several weeks. It was easy. It was safe. I had no fear of recrimination or exposure. It was a chance to explore my feelings in the safest environment I could find. He advised me to seek a support group, as a starting point. With much trepidation I did. My first meeting was nervous, I was twitchy. But after a while I settled in, and started to feel at home. Driving home afterwards, I was on such I high! I had done it. I had faced others as a gay man, and survived the experience.

I'm still not out yet. But my feet are firmly on the road. My story is just beginning, but grows richer every day. And so a word of thanks, from the heart, for all those who's sites I plundered, and also to those whose I have yet to visit. They helped me, and probably countless others, start to believe in who they could be. My life may be part way gone, but I feel the best is yet to come.

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