Dear Friend, You are a very sensible man; in illustrating your response to the coming-out question with your account of your own experiences, you confirm what I have always thought of the situation myself. I am bisexual, or a homosexual who likes women; I never felt the need to 'explain' my emotional makeup to any of the various women I have been with, trusting instead to their insight. And since I never kept up any false pretences, there was never any need to be 'honest' about my homosexuality, which I am certain was plainly evident; there are certain aspects of personality that cannot be hid. I am convinced of nothing so much as I am of the power of words to wound others -- and oneself -- needlessly and irretrievably. I don't know if this addresses your other friend's situation, but this is the meaning I attach to your failed attempt to 'come out' to your parents: so much for 'total transparency.' Cheers, Knickie
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