Telling can be good, but often is costly.

Telling can be good, but often is costly.

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Joining the pioneers (Unknown)
Re: Good question, but here is a tougher one!!! (Unknown)
Date: Sun, 05 Oct 1997 06:50:47 GMT
From: Unknown (zando)

Asked about coming out to your wife is a can of worms.  Many have 
provided very good things to think about.  I came out to my wife
several years ago and to my children (ages 13 and 10) this past 
summer.  We have discovered that we are capable of loving more
than one person at a time.  Even though it is often difficult to have 
a relationship with your wife and your lover as an ongoing endeavor,
when everyone is honest and knows what is going on, and everyone's 
needs are being met, it is pretty wonderful.
   There are, however, many men I know who have told their wives that
they were gay or bi and their wives (or they themselves) found that
they could not continue in a "marriage" and split up.  Others find that 
they can renegioate their marriage vows and meet everyone's needs.
	For me, it was important to be honest to my wife.  It made our
relationship with her more complete, satisfying and loving.  We are
truly each other's best friends and know that we have a choice to
get divorced but choose not to because we love one another and want
to stay together.  I am probably more gay than bi, but we still have
a good sex life and enjoy each others company.  Finding men who
are not intimidated by this is sometimes difficult, because I am always
open and honest with them as well.
	Good luck.  If you search for bisexual you will find a 
list Bi Married Men of America (BMMA).   There are a lot of people 
there in a similar boat who will gladly offer opinions, advice and
peanut gallery comments.

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